Wednesday, July 21, 2010
Aloha wau ia 'oe
Wo ai ni
I love you!
These words so desperately wanted to be heard. So frequently chased after, yet overused. People want the outcome, but never want to put in the work...
Nothing worth having comes easy.
Now, I don't know exactly what I'm going to write about this subject but I can't help but look around and see people's desire for a relationship all around me.
Love is such a beautiful thing and the sight of it makes me happy inside but few are mature enough or willing to really make it become it's true potential, and this applies to all ages, races, and genders.
My first problem is WE ARE ALWAYS POINTING THE FINGER at the other sex and saying it's THEIR fault relationships aren't lasting...
Come on now guys.
Let's take some responsibility.
&& if you don't want to say it--I will. On behalf of ALL of us.
Some "men" and "women" don't appreciate a GOOD thing when they have it. It seems to me that without a doubt it's ALWAYS a "good" person with a "bad"--one feeling unappreciated and trying to make it work. While the other is constantly taking advantage of that person's heart. I've seen this in BOTH sexes so we can stop saying it's JUST girls who experience this OR JUST boys.
Another thing I see is people "claiming" they want a solid person but they either
1) play games until they're "ready" to be in a relationship in the meantime the other person shouldn't date anyone
2) cheat on the person and continue to expect to be forgiven by the person
and this is not okay.
One of the issues is--WOMEN HAVE STOPPED BEING WOMEN. we have stopped demanding respect for ourselves because we OURSELVES don't respect ourselves.
YOU TEACH SOMEONE HOW TO TREAT YOU.
if someone is dogging you and they continue to--you need to look at YOURSELF and wonder why THEY think this is okay.
Women have accepted half-ass relationships being
"the other women"
or just "friends with benefits" because their significant other wants to "have fun", "be young" etc
(this is true for men too. some girls play this same role on guys)
PEOPLE HAVE BECAME PICKY AND GREEDY AS HELL!
we have this GREAT person right before our eyes but don't stay with them (or faithful) because we think we can find someone with more money, a nicer car, a better job, a better education, better teeth, better shoes, bigger ass, bigger chest, more tattoos....all this materialistic IRRELEVANT shit.
It's ridiculous! LOOK AT THE PERSON'S HEART.
Another thing I see--is everyone is depending on the OTHER person to save them from their life.
some guys think they need a woman to become a man
and some women think they need a man to feel love.
We spend all this time searching for love and affection from an outer source and wonder why when the break-up comes, we feel so alone.
it's because you've allowed someone to give you your self worth!
The first and BIGGEST problem I see in all relationships is no one has SELF LOVE.
They don't even know what that is,
and the outcome of a person that doesn't know how to love themselves is a person that doesn't know how to love other people!
You ATTRACT the person you are with and vice versa--so deep down inside, subconsciously your ego WANTED this...
if you don't love yourself--you're going to attract someone who doesn't love themselves, most likely and you are BOTH going to be dependent on each other for love because you aren't recieving that from any other source.
You need to be happy by yourself FIRST to be able to build...to know who YOU are. to know what YOU value.
you know more about that person than you know about yourself.
your TRUE self.
your inner self.
You chase and chase and chase to find this thing that you already obtain.
So many people hop from one relationship to another to another to another...to help them get over an ex and the pain and it NEVER works. deep down that pain STILL needs to be dealt with.
If everyone loved themselves
no one would accept selfish lovers
being the person on the side of someone ELSE's relationship.
We say I love you too quickly...we don't even KNOW the person to know who or what we are loving.
You love the "idea" about love. it doesn't matter who's in that position, giving you the idea. You just like the lil' butterfly feeling.
Love is SO MUCH DEEPER than that.
When you love someone you love that person's heart
You don't let little arguments blow up into bigger issues.
You don't let things build up.
You aren't afraid to communicate.
You aren't afraid to dream together.
You don't hold back.
You are free TOGETHER.
You both brings something to EACH OTHER that helps you BOTH grow.
A REAL relationship NEVER GETS BORING.
you don't let it--because everyday
day in and day out
you give your ALL to them, because you give your all to yourself, you give you all to LIFE.
You find an adventure for them.
You are eager to make them smile.
To challenge them.
To surprise them.
You don't take the easy way out--you work THOUGH it.
People have forgotten how to do that.
We have became of society full of pride.
Prideful people CAN'T love.
They care more about being right
winning an argument
then resolving an issue.
They care more about saying what their ego has placed in their minds
than to stop and think about the OTHER person's feelings.
Prideful people don't look at the bigger picture.
they focus on the heat of the moment.
Instead of saying "this is the person I love"
they say "this is the person who didn't wash the dishes again"...
People are getting divorced over the smallest, FIXABLE things.
Our grandparents' marriages/relationships lasted DECADES while we can't even get over the couple year hump.
Sure there are other reasons for that...
but self-love could fix a lot of these problems.
Before you can love ANYONE.
love yourself so you can love the other person to the best of your ability...
Love to grow.
that's what love is about--GROWTH.