Monday, April 4, 2011

our problem with love

i think we ruin a lot of our relationships on our own because of our lack of love for ourselves. we get these people in our lives who really care about us and tell us all of these amazing things like “they want to be with us forever” or “can only see them with us”…but we don’t believe it. it’s not that we don’t trust them, but because we believe we are not worthy of being loved in this way. we don’t believe we’re special enough to have someone who thinks so highly of us. we don’t think highly of ourselves.

so then the thinking starts…our self-hate & insecurities cause us to question them. we wonder if they meant those words… if they’re being loyal. it eats us inside…tears us up. we become overly sensitive and arguments come up. kisses and hugs seem distant. an illusionary space starts to wedge up between us and the ones who love us. and when it doesn’t work out…we tell ourselves, “i knew this would happen…i knew they didn’t mean all those sweet things they said”. we worry about them being with someone else and then it happens, we tell ourselves “we should have listened to our intuition”… we forget how to distinguish the difference between the voice of our ego and our spirit.

when things we stress about become a reality…it’s because we made it that way with our thoughts. we constantly are creating self-fulfilling prophecies. could it be that if we actually loved ourselves enough to receive and believe the love others give us the relationship would have lasted forever? we constantly point fingers and tell others what they need to work on to love us better, but sometimes we don’t need them to do anything. if we love ourselves, many of these “issues” we have in relationships would melt away. believe me, i’ve experienced this power. we need to look at ourselves…love who we are so we can believe from the bottom of our spirits that someone loves us as much as they say. we can’t trust anyone if we don’t believe these things about ourselves. we have to learn to love ourselves, wholeheartedly. our destinies depend on it.