Friday, July 22, 2011

The Mystery

standing here looking at the world around me
i do a 360
three sixty vision
time to move
so i do

i start running


then i walk to catch my breath

more running


eyes perfectly open but somehow i lost my way
again i stop
my neck cracks
turning, turning inch by inch
i can feel subatomic particles working their cities within me
to full capacity so i can take a gander at this horizon
this new view i have come to

the sky looks so golden
clouds skipping across on their invisible conveyor belt
i thought they were dancing
but maybe it was me
i couldn't come to the right conclusion
cus i was still too busy
catching my breath
from all of that running

an elegant china plate just broken
might as well toss it into the bin
we take to the thrift store and donate
to those we like to claim we're giving to
but is it really genuine giving, if we don't give it until we consider it junk?
the fork was too busy screeching across the ceramic concrete
i didn't have time to answer this question
didn't have the strength to run
so instead i crawled
thought it may be safer
but instead my head spun like a carousel the kids spun
between their misunderstood sentences on those boiling summer days

considered entering a track race but
assured myself that the tortoise doesn't beat the hare in reality
only fantasy
a fable that only belongs in books
so i went continued on my journey
asking the water-colored higher dimension above my head when i would find it
but it never responded

so i just went on

in search



i left my map at home
didn't think i needed it
maybe i really did.
gosh, i can be so hardhead
just gotta laugh at myself in retrospect
as i crawl on this rock-riddled earth surface
scraping my knee with each motion
trying to keep my head up so i don't see the blood trail from my weathered hands beneath me

keep going

keep going
you're there! i can almost feel it

i opened my mouth to taste it as that sayin says we can when we're close
but it the scent was so foul, i didn't have the courage.
my ego kept whining, said it was taking too long
but i told it to shutup--i'm the one in control
i guess it got confused, must of been reminiscing about the days it had me
in a trance, doing the splits to the rhythm of it's disco frequencies

but now i do yoga

be still

i start noticing jewels sparkle against the blood-speckled soil
i must be close!
Heaven must be beautiful like this
and as i kept going
my inside began to shrink
gosh, it's cold.
but i ignored it
it's not matter over mind
i got this!

Skipping among a rainbow, i felt the bliss of Now
like those moments when you're reading a good book and you can feel the understanding soak into your brain
it's very distinct
can't be mistaken
and as that feeling grew
the jewels did too
and so did the color

i got Deja Vu
this place felt so familiar
the smells, the texture of this dry-skinned surface
my ego started shouting like the twin Towers were being destroyed within me
watch out! beware! don't go there!




I should have listened, cus i felt it
but something inside me was okay with taking these steps back
i was no longer interested in my search
just wanted to discover why it felt so familiar
Let Columbus find the way, it's his place in history anyways

I went into this absent air
and recognized the flicker from a piece of design before my eyes
muddy hands took it
and held it, eyes closed
stopped moving, and sat still
right there
this familiar circle carved in the ground
i had been traveling between the cracks
but almost as if, i had an out of body experience

i saw

and no longer needed
to take those roads
scrape that fork
the beginning is the end
and the end is the beginning
if i wanted to find what i was looking for

i needed to stop looking
it was there within me, all along
i didn't need to scrape my knee
or move
or run
okay, im probably lyin--cus now i understand

it's funny though
The Circle
sometimes we lose who we are as we search,
only to find we already were who we were searching for from the beginning.

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