Friday, July 22, 2011

Men Vs Women

n my years of life, i always heard that men and women are completely two different creatures with so many differences it’s almost impossible to understand each other. of course hearing that when i was younger i didn’t believe it, but now with my experience i do think there are some differences that make it very difficult for our relationships.

we constantly hear that women are “emotional” and men aren’t. this makes it tough when dealing with disagreements because they have different needs. men want to just drop it, not talk about feelings extensively…but women need comforting, complete discussion and support… in many relationships women will constantly hear that they are “doing too much” or are being “too emotional” when they get hurt, are upset, start crying…and this leads to more complications. the men become irritated and this leave the women self-conscious and unwilling to open up because she feels she is being judged rather than supported. i have felt this many times and always wondered how it could be a bad thing to care… being emotional is being open and one with yourself enough to trust how you feel and allow yourself to feel them. discussing issues is good communication and if we thoroughly discuss them enough to fix problems, discussions wouldn’t keep coming up. countless times of “emotional moments” would not come up because we would deal with the situation all at once—leaving no other feelings to be bottled up and able to explode at a later time. to me, this makes the most logical sense, but for some reason society demonizes being emotional so the women is told to “stop being so emotional” and to “just let it go” and while letting things go is important and essential in personal growth, how is letting something go before it is dealt with and healed a good thing?

making someone drop an issue when they do not want to or need to talk about something is forcing them to be submissive and often times women do it as another way of self-sacrifice to make things be peaceful. we want things to work out and be happy, but we know this is not good for our own health. we are not being true to ourselves. there’s nothing wrong with being emotional and i feel as if men do not understand women being this way because they were never supported to be open enough to express them.

our habits are learned as children and when a little boy falls down what do we say :get up, don’t cry and be no punk/little girl” but when a little girl falls down we hug her ask her if she’s okay…ask her to tell us what’s wrong so she can release any feelings she has. the latter way makes sense to allow someone to express how they feel but the boys must bottle it up and get over it, so as adults they continue this. when women have problems they usually talk to other people and don’t distance themselves because we were not taught to be that way, but when men are upset, they withdraw into themselves and don’t talk about it—they just drop it as they were taught to do.

but not talking about things and bottling them up is not healthy…being stubborn and inconsiderate for the woman’s needs by telling her to let it go is not helpful . and it is not natural. men are programmed since they were little to not talk about their feelings, not to cry, to just let things go and it closes their hearts.

so when they come with women who have been taught to be open, receptive, comfortable in being vulnerable they don’t understand because they were never able to be this way…even though that is how we are supposed to be as people. we have to talk about things to fix them, we have to talk about and acknowledge our feelings because they exist. and it’s not just a women thing, it’s a person thing just disguised as a woman thing to cut the men off from the Loving energy they are built on. asking women to change is like asking them to stop being Lovers while we continue to support men in their journey away from a life that opens them to understanding, compassion, and empathy. we have to break the cycle. we cannot continue it anymore. look where it has gotten us.

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