Saturday, May 8, 2010
Domestic Violence: Hitting is NEVER okay.
I would like to take the time now to say; excuse me if you read any excessive amounts of cuss words BUT I do not play with this situation.
Violence is never okay. And if it has happened you can believe it WILL happen again no matter how many times they say they are going to change. I had to as a little girl see my biological father put his hands on my mother, so I first hand witnessed the lack of help from police and the pain it causes a woman. My mother left before I was even born, but he continued to stalk her--he didn't want to let it go, and the fact that the police weren't taking it serious enough didn't help. This is why you have to tell people, so you can have a strong support system. You WILL need it. It took years to finally "find that peace", but she DID indeed find it. My mother educated me on the situation--what they signs are; which I will be sharing with you so this DOES NOT happen to you.
Now if you constantly hear any of this and think it relate to you, be cautious. I'm not saying every man who does this is going to be abusive BUT it is a very high chance.
Abusers love to act perfect in the very beginning of a relationship and after they do that you'll notice they become very controlling, try and distance you from your loved ones, and constantly accuse you of cheating. This is a result of their lack of self-love. They are insecure in their own confidence so they want to assure that they won't "lose you". BUT don't give them sympathy for that. Just because someone has low self-esteem doesn't mean they have the right to put their hands on you. Abuse is not love. You would never intentionally hurt someone you care about.
If he DOES hit you, he's going to apologize and tell you he didnt mean it. Then he'll act so sweet and you'll think. "Okay maybe this was an accident...It's not going to happen again..." But you don't really know that for sure. The next time will be worse than the first time and I'm sure as hell you don't want to risk your life for him. Wanna know why you're not going to do that? it's because you hav self-love, like we discussed in my last blog.
the fact of the matter is--if he hits you LEAVE.
Don't be ashamed.
It is not your fault.
&& if you are too scared to tell--because you think he'll be mad if he goes to jail,
who CARES if he gets mad. He doesn't care enough about your feelings when he hits you!! And you can use the time he's in jail (if long enough) to leave, relocate, heal.... that is what you need--for YOU. And if you have a child, I want you to look in their eyes and think should they have to grow up watching their Dad put their hands on their mother? Didn't think so.
True it may be hard, you may live with him. You may live across the country from your family--but DON'T stay!! Find a battered women's shelter that will help youstand on your own two feet. You don't deserve to be a prisioner in your own home.
Okay now the thing that gets me about this is that some men and even women stick up for men who hit women. like whith that whole Chris Brown and Rihannna thing. "She had to do something for him to hit her..." wtf?! you sound so ignorant, women get hit for no reason at all ALL of the time. Why should this be any different?
Men who hit women are insecure bitch pussy human beings who disgust me. Do you think hitting a woman makes you a man? Belittling someone just so that you can make yourself feel greater is the sickest thing on this earth.
And yes sure, there are women who test men over and over because they try and use this "men shouldn't hit men" thing to their advantage by taking off on a dude, slapping him, punching him, etc and this is NOT okay. The human body has reflexes and men are naturally stronger than women, so their reflexes will be too.
So don't do too much when you are mad at a guy. And if you have self-love, there is nothing in this world that could possibly cause you to hit him anyways. SO if you are doin' this STOP IT NOW LADIES. It is not right.
There should not be any violence from either party in a relationship.
Love may have pain in it--sometimes (emotional pain)
But pain is NOT love.
Simple as that.
Here are some statistcs got about abusive relationships:
•Around the world, at least one in three women has been beaten, coerced into sex or otherwise abused during her lifetime. 1
•As many as 324,000 women each year experience intimate partner violence during their pregnancy. 2
•On average, more than three women are murdered by their husbands or boyfriends in this country every day. 3
•Domestic violence is the leading cause of injury to women between the ages of 15 and 44 in the United States. 4
•Pregnant and recently pregnant women are more likely to be victims of homicide than to die of any other cause. 5
•Approximately one in five female high school students reports being physically and/or sexually abused by a dating partner. 6
•Three in four women (76%) who reported they had been raped and/or physically assaulted since age 18 said that a current or former husband, cohabiting partner, or date committed the assault. 7
and if you are currently in a abusive relationship
tell someone or use these resources:
the help line-- 1-888-7HELPLINE
there are other forms on the internet