Friday, September 10, 2010


Okay, the word "marriage" seems to be a pretty big topic I've been meaning to discuss. It seems our society s obsessed with it, and yet we have so many failed marriages--divorce. I don't really want to say "failed", but that's sort of what society views them as.

I think this is because people get married for the wrong reasons. But before I even get into that...What is marriage anyways?

Why do people get married?

Well according to the internet it can be defined as the following

legal relationship between spouses: a legally recognized relationship, established by a civil or religious ceremony, between two people who intend to live together as sexual and domestic partners
specific marriage relationship
: a married relationship between two people, or a somebody's relationship with his or her spouse
"They have a happy marriage."
joining in wedlock: the joining together in wedlock of two people
marriage ceremony: the ceremony in which two people are joined together formally in wedlock
union of two things: a close union, blend, or mixture of two things
"Civilization is based on the marriage of tradition and innovation."

Well it seems to me that marriage is getting recognition from people that aren't even involved in your relationship, some say so in just how serious and valid your relationship and "Love" for each other is...

Why do we need marriage licenses to get married...if it's just the joining of two people? Why does it become a legal thing? Why does society or the courtroom get involved at all?

Other euphemisms for getting married include, "tying the knot", "being tied down", "getting hitched"...etc.

Just take a second to LISTEN to those and really think about it...
since when did Love tie anything down? Since when did Love come with restrictions? Since when did Love come with chains?

All of this is not Love.
Love is an energy that flows freely through the entire Universe... I don't even know if it's possible to be tied down.

It's not physical...and if you Love someone--why do you want to "tie them down"?

Marriage isn't about Love...or being with another person you Love...

It's about ownership.

People want to be assured that this person they are with will be with them forever... and this marriage holds them to that promise until "death do us part"...

it's like you're insecure in how that person feels about you
you're insecure in what will happen in the future
you're in fear...

how can you live your Life in Love and fear simultaneously?
You can't.
It's impossible.

The thing about marriage is that, it offers no room for change.
People grow apart.

That's Life.
That's the Universe.
Everything changes.

Just because you've been with someone for 10 years...and they all of the sudden lose interest, doesn't mean that they never Loved you. And it doesn't mean that they don't Love you anymore...It just means, they Love you differently...

You've grown apart.
In that sense, when divorce is coming out of the consideration for the best of you from the idea of the potential growth that both of you can no longer give each other, it's not such a bad thing. In fact, it's rather beautiful, to be that understanding to see that you were placed in each others Life for a certain amount of time and got to experience those moments together...

Be grateful for those moments, instead of focusing on the moments you no longer have.
You can fill those with so many other things Life has to offer
or a new person the Universe is placing in your Life to aid you in more personal growth.

Am I saying all divorces are lovely? No.
But neither are all marriages...

We get into these marriages, most of the time with a lack of self-love and understanding of the ego...which may be the reason we are attracted to that person in the first place...which is nothing real at all.

and you get married and you start growing as a person and realize this person doesn't fit you anymore...but since you're married you're pressured by everyone to make something work, that really is just there to show you, that it's time for you to change...

or you see flaws in them because those are things you yourself obtain...they are reflecting what you see in yourself. that is how you were even attracted to each other in the first are living on the same plane.

With marriage you feel guilty for not being happy here because society has programmed you to think that it has to last forever since you took those vows.

but that's not always the case...

If you really Love this person and that's why you think you should get married, ask yourself why are you doing it...?

If you Love them and you KNOW intuitively that they Love you..then why do you need to throw the title "marriage" on it?

It really can complicate things sometimes because when people are married, if they start to not feel a certain way about something--they are afraid to communicate this because they took those an oath.

and people repeatedly throw the vows in people's faces...

"you said until death do us part in front of the whole church"...
or they know their marriage isn't working and they have simply grown apart but don't want to let it go because they don't want to be ridiculed by all of the people who attended the wedding...

I wish we could just stop all of this bullshit.
if you Love someone,
just Be with them.
Love them.

Why title it?
Why ask the outer world for recognition?
You guys should be in your own world...

and yes, while I know there are some financial benefits to being married as far as insurances and calls at the hospital go, but make sure you're doing it for the right reason for you guys...and communicate well between each other.

If a person wants to leave, if you guys are growing apart--don't make that person feel bad.

Thank them for freeing you--for being honest, for all of the beautiful moments you got to share in the mean time...

You guys are both growing, infinitely, and that is beautiful.
Thank the Universe for allowing you to grow with each other for awhile.
Don't fall for this mass bullshit the media is trying to sell you.
Marriage is not about being tied down.
It's not about reality.

It's became about money in society's eyes...and outside validation.
Which is something you don't need.

and if you do get married, like i said before--be open.
be accepting of any kind of change or growth
be thankful

thankful for Love.
thankful for Growth.
thankful for every single Moment.

1 comment:

  1. Well said. I think if I could do it over, me and my wife would have just gone to a mountaintop alone and said our vowels beneath the stars. But if I died, how do I make sure she gets insurance, property etc? I understand the need for legal marriage, but sometimes it clouds the whole reason for choosing to spend your lives together. Because that's what it's really about. Choice. Not the legal binding.