Quiet

Words I'm too afraid to say
so i hide them
in between the perpendicular walls
that give our rooms its corners
I hope they don't escape.
The closet was too full of clothes
to hide these invasive ideas any better

My mind asked me if it could borrow them
it liked obsessing over whatifs and couldbes
I ignored it's call
so it scratched the highways of my brain
until I got a headache
it's laughter tore me down as I walked with a limo
hoping these thoughts leave me be
but i see them make love
with the spiders in our bed
and slap me in the face with Charlotte's web

Admiring the beautiful creation
it engulfs my soul
mummifying my Being.
Taped eyelids forced to
meet words
in concrete form
leave me
leave me
But please, don't--I need you!

Do I?

Never knew words could take over reality
but they constantly trap me

Escape turns into a trap itself
the constant effort to maintain Freedom
Do I own the work ethic
necessary for this required strength?

The alphabet's whispers
sound like a heavy metal concert
sexing with my subconscious

Fleeting anti-abortionist beliefs
Kill the spawn
no more kingdom
no more kin
the end
finally

Internal work trying to decipher
delusion from illusion
but they all look the same
identical twins, that probably
changed places
leave me in an insecure place

I don't want to hear these thoughts
so instead they assault me
Can I call the police on my abusive ego?
Can I go to court? I need a restraining order

The judge hates me they say, so there's no use
Submit to the system

Revolt! Revolt!
Begging for an internal revolution
my body throws up
Misunderstanding
More abuse

Leave me
Leave me

Just once,
I want to be abandoned