our problem with love

i think we ruin a lot of our relationships on our own because of our lack of love for ourselves. we get these people in our lives who really care about us and tell us all of these amazing things like “they want to be with us forever” or “can only see them with us”…but we don’t believe it. it’s not that we don’t trust them, but because we believe we are not worthy of being loved in this way. we don’t believe we’re special enough to have someone who thinks so highly of us. we don’t think highly of ourselves.

so then the thinking starts…our self-hate & insecurities cause us to question them. we wonder if they meant those words… if they’re being loyal. it eats us inside…tears us up. we become overly sensitive and arguments come up. kisses and hugs seem distant. an illusionary space starts to wedge up between us and the ones who love us. and when it doesn’t work out…we tell ourselves, “i knew this would happen…i knew they didn’t mean all those sweet things they said”. we worry about them being with someone else and then it happens, we tell ourselves “we should have listened to our intuition”… we forget how to distinguish the difference between the voice of our ego and our spirit.

when things we stress about become a reality…it’s because we made it that way with our thoughts. we constantly are creating self-fulfilling prophecies. could it be that if we actually loved ourselves enough to receive and believe the love others give us the relationship would have lasted forever? we constantly point fingers and tell others what they need to work on to love us better, but sometimes we don’t need them to do anything. if we love ourselves, many of these “issues” we have in relationships would melt away. believe me, i’ve experienced this power. we need to look at ourselves…love who we are so we can believe from the bottom of our spirits that someone loves us as much as they say. we can’t trust anyone if we don’t believe these things about ourselves. we have to learn to love ourselves, wholeheartedly. our destinies depend on it.

do you wanna give up sometimes?
on me i mean...
like do you get tired of me
wish you weren't a part of this dream?
i don;t wanna cage you in
i don't want you to feel like you're in hell
do i Love you the wrong way
show me the way i should
i'll change for you
i promise i would
just to make you happy
i just want to see you smile
i love you that much
i hate that i do this to you
i hate that i bring you this pain
i hate that i make you feel this way

Dear Tekoa,

I have some words i want to share with you. they may make you cry but i truly think it's necessary for me to voice them to you. lately, i've been neglectful to you, i know this. please forgive me. forgive me for not staring into your eyes long enough for my soul to tell you i Love you. excuse me for putting you last in my Life. and excuse me for looking outside of myself to give you what you need. i apologize for the negative thoughts i may pollute your world with and i will try and be better at supporting & trusting you.

i know this is what you need, and i as i write this i wonder why it's taken me so long to stop and talk to you...

but now that i have, i need you to listen to me. like really listen to me. open up your heart & let this energy take over you.

you're beautiful, just the way you are. don't ever forget that. seriously. i know a lot of the time you don't feel that way, but you are. you have the most amazing Spirit that just radiates Love and touches everyone you meet. your passion and compassion are amazing. stop getting down on yourself for being so emotional, that is something to be proud of. so many people are scared of their feelings, they don't want to show them. at least you trust yourself enough to. Love yourself when you smile. Love yourself when you cry. Accept yourself at your weak moments and the other moments we try and turn from. hold your whole being in your heart & hug it. you have come so far, gained so much...it's amazing. see the power in your creativity and perspective on life. you make a beautiful difference, don't ever stop believing in yourself.

Love Infinitely,
Tekoa

the Beauty of Nature

Nature is God's gift to the world, really. we spend all of this money and time trying to find things that will give us Peace of Mind when the world is surrounded with it...the world is It. we're just so consumed in the world of consumption we don't get out into the Real World--the Natural World. We spend so many hours surrounded by the energy of concrete and walls that it starts to take a toll on our Spirits.

but Nature, speaks to us in Silence & gets us back on track with what our Souls want & yearn for. it's the quickest way to fill yourself up with Love. there's so much beauty in Nature, in the smallest Moment of being outside you can see something that makes you smile. this is what we learn our true lessons from. one thing i Love about Nature is it teaches you Life is. Nature doesn't label anything. it doesn't fight back anything; the trees take in the storms, the deer eventually accepts the fact it has to be a part of someone's meal just as the grass blades it ate earlier for breakfast. When we pick flowers, they don't fight back, they just accept with open arms. we don't see other flowers/ birds/ trees comparing themselves to each other, they just Live & let Be. in that...they are able to grow and nurture other life forms. I Love how nature recycles everything; everything has it's place and purpose. If you don't see purpose anywhere else you see it here. a fallen branch becomes part of a bird's nest for the next generation of baby birds. dying animals become part of nutrients in the dirt that allow the vegetation to grow. the Universe is so smart. All of the organisms have a beautiful mind. Ants can build boats to cross water, chimps make fishing poles and other tools; you see the true intelligence in Nature.

We don't take much time to see that in others or ourselves anymore because we are constantly telling ourselves or others what to be, but in nature no one tells anyone anything--and yet the cycle still continues in the right direction. I Love that. it's so beautiful.

Nature is so very humbling because it reminds us that we are a part of a whole. we can be so easily consumed in our ego the rest of the time that we forget there is a world bigger than just us, and not even the sense of Self as an individual but us in terms of species. We are a part of Nature, it's time we recognized our other members of our Spiritual family.

when we come back to Nature...it's like coming home.
actually, it is returning home.+++++